| Title: Sunflowers Author: Jo Pairing: Orlando Bloom/Viggo Mortensen Rating: PG Summary: A rose by any other name.... Disclaimer: This so didn't happen. Well, okay. It may have, but they didn't tell me about it. I just made this thing up. Notes: Spawned while attempting to come up with the first challenge for Furor Scribendi. Crack fic ahead, yo.
"Hey!" "Hey...this is, um...." "Did I come at a bad time?" "No, I was just --" "Oh, good! I'd hate to interrupt anything." "You --" "Here." "What's this?" "They're sunflowers." "Yes, I know that." "They're for you." "You're giving me sunflowers?" "I didn't think you'd go for roses." "Um...." "Pretty, aren't they?" "Orlando, why are you giving me sunflowers?" "Thought you'd like 'em." "You thought I'd like sunflowers?" "Well, it was them or roses." "It was?" "And I asked myself -- self, what sort of flowers would Viggo like. And the answer was sunflowers because they're unique, like you." "Come again?" "They'll look nice in the living room." "I'm not putting them in the living room." "No, of course not. Silly of me. They should go in the bedroom." "I am not putting these things in my bedroom!" "The kitchen?" "No." "But...why not?" "They're huge." "So?" "So, I don't have a vase big enough to hold them." "Oh." "Yes, oh." "Well...maybe you can paint them." "Paint them?" "Yeah. Like a still life." "I don't do still life." "First time for everything, right?" "I don't have this color." "Maybe you could mix it?" "I don't think anyone except God could mix this particular shade." "Yeah, it is nice, innit?" "It's, um, bright." "So...are you going to paint them?" "I told you. I don't paint flowers." "Van Gogh painted flowers." "Orlando...I'm Viggo, not Van Gogh." "I know that, silly. I just thought --" "You just thought what?" "Nevermind. Here." "What am I going to do with them?" "Put 'em in a vase." "I still don't have one big enough." "How about a big glass?" "Orlando, I don't.... Why are you holding them out like that? You look ridiculous." "They're heavy." "They look it." "And they, um, smell." "They're flowers. They're supposed to smell." "No, they smell." "Oh." "Are you gonna take 'em?" "I don't have any place to put them." "Take 'em anyway." "But --" "I bought them for you." "Oh, all right. Christ...." "I can get you some hydrangeas to go with them." "Don't you dare!"
|