| Title: About Last Night Author: Jo Pairing: Karl Urban/Orlando Bloom Rating: NC17 Summary: after a night of heavy drinking, Karl & Orli try to recreate a few missing hours with an unexpected end result Disclaimer: I made this entire thing up. It's fiction. Not real. Absolutely did not happen. Well...it could have, but they certainly didn't tell me about it. Author's Notes: for Brenda, because she gave me first time BeanOrli
"Ugh," he mumbled as he took stock of the situation - head ready to explode, mouth tasting like he'd been sucking on dirty sweat socks, stomach giving off definite signals that the slightest wrong move would result in a revisitation of breakfast, lunch, and dinner from the previous day. One plus one equals two, and all that added up to a hangover. A whopper of one, apparently. Orlando just wished he could remember the events that led up to it. "M'fuck." He rolled into the warmth against his left side, jostled the pleasant weight across his thigh. Maybe last night hadn't been a total bomb. Orlando smiled, opened his eyes again...and screamed. "Oh, Jesus...did you have to do that?" Eyes wide, mouth open, Orlando sat straight up in the bed. Two seconds later, he was dashing to the bathroom, one hand over his mouth. He collapsed beside the toilet and swore he'd never drink again as his stomach heaved. "Oh, God...." He moaned, pulled himself up to the sink. He was still sleeping. He had to be. Because there was no way in hell he could have forgotten the person in his bed. So he was dreaming. That was the only possible explanation. Anything else.... He yanked his mind away from that thought, rinsed his mouth and face, walked back to the bedroom. "You're not gonna scream again, are you?" Okay, scratch the dream theory. Karl was still in his bed, legs tangled in the sheets, looking somewhat worse for wear...and very, very naked. And fuck all if that wasn't a very appealing sight...all that creamy skin and lean muscle.... Orlando blinked, looked down at himself. Hmmm...naked, too. What the hell happened last night? "What the hell happened last night?" Karl's soft question brought Orlando's head up, and Orlando winced. Make a note of that: no sudden moves just yet. "Um, dunno," Orlando replied, keeping a cautious eye on Karl as he edged into the room and reached for his jeans. "Did you...we...um...you know." Karl sat up and fixed Orlando with a baleful look. "Is your ass sore?" "No." What the fuck kind of question was that? "Neither is mine." Karl scooped up the sheet, dumped it in his lap. He examined the bed - for what, Orlando had no clue - and looked up again. "Right, then. Evidence suggests that we didn't 'you know'." Evidence? What...oh. Oh. Right. Evidence. "So why are you naked? In my bed?" "That's the question of the day, mate." Karl slid to the edge of the bed, movements slow and hesitant, eyes following Orlando as he moved around the room. And damned if that didn't look like a spark of interest...or something...in those hazel depths. "Don't suppose you remember last night, do you?" "No." Orlando buttoned his jeans and sat down beside Karl. "Missing a few hours, I think. I remember drinking at the pub, then Harry suggesting we all go somewhere else...and the rest is a blank." Karl sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I was afraid of that. Don't remember anything past the second pub myself." "Fuck." "Mmmm." Karl pulled at his bottom lip, eyes unfocused. "Think the other guys know what happened?" "Maybe." "Think we should ask 'em?" "Sure." "Alright." Karl stood, still holding the sheet. He paused. "Use your shower?" "Help yourself." Ask the other guys. Bloody great idea. Except...Orlando knew the other guys. It was going to be a long day. Harry Sinclair glanced up as the two men appeared around the corner of his house. Suppressing a wicked grin, he stood, brushed his hands off, and watched them approach. He took in the dark sunglasses, tousled hair, rumpled clothes, and slightly unsteady walks. They looked decidely less than their best. He bit back a laugh and pasted a bland smile on his face. "Afternoon, Karl, Orli." Harry nodded, received two nods in return. "'Lo, Harry." Karl paused and scratched his head. "Can we ask you something?" "You just did," Harry pointed out, unable to keep from laughing when Orlando snatched off his sunglasses and glared. "Relax, mate, just yanking your chain. What's the question?" He had a pretty good idea what they wanted to know and could only pray he didn't give it away. Wasn't going to be easy, though. He watched them dart surreptitious glances at each other and wondered what that was all about. He also wondered who else they had already talked to. "What happened last night?" "Bunch of us went out drinking." There, that was innocuous enough. "No...after that," Orlando said, still frowning. "After?" Harry hoped he looked properly confused. "'Fraid I don't understand." "After we left the pub," Karl explained. "Dunno, mate." Damn, but it was hard to keep from laughing. Especially with the way they kept sneaking glances at each other. "I came home, and you two said something about going back to Orli's. Dunno where everyone else went." "Oh." Orlando looked dismayed, and Harry had to bite his lip hard. "So you don't know what happened after we, ah...got to Orli's?" Harry almost lost it then, barely managing to turn his choked laugh into a cough. "Don't you?" "Course we do," Orlando said quickly. Too quickly. Harry grinned. "Did you have fun?" So it was a leading question. Harry couldn't resist. "Oh, sure, loads." Karl looked at his watch. "Gotta go. Something to do." "Sure." Harry was able to control himself until they vanished around the side of the house. Then he collapsed on the ground, laughing until he couldn't breathe. Now to go inside and call Viggo. "I'm telling you, Karl, he knew something!" "Probably. Harry's like that, the bastard." Sean Bean looked up from the bag he was packing and grinned. The children had arrived. They were earlier than he expected and, from the sounds of it, had already paid Harry a visit. "You two look like something the cat dragged in," Sean commented as they walked through the open door. His only response was a finger from Orlando and muttering from Karl. How delightful. He watched them flop on the sofa, thighs bumping against each other before jerking away, only to repeat the entire maneuver all over again. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" "What happened after we left the pub last night?" Trust Orlando to jump right in. Sean simply arched an eyebrow and gave them a mild look. "You don't remember? Damn, can't believe you could have forgot...." "Forgot what?" Karl asked when it became clear that Sean wasn't going to continue. "Oh, nothing." Sean shrugged, went back to his bag. "You were pretty monged last night." "No shit. We know that." Sean bit his lip and tried not to laugh at Orlando's petulant tone. "If you know, why're you asking me?" "Just wanted to make sure we didn't do anything outrageous in public," Karl replied, elbowing Orlando. Sure. Sean believed that. He gave a mental snort and played along. "No...nothing in public." Neither Karl nor Orlando looked reassured, and it was all Sean could do to keep from howling with laughter as they talked for a few more minutes before saying their goodbyes. He watched Karl's jeep pull out of the driveway, then reached for the phone. Viggo was going to love this. "Dave, care to help a mate out?" Dave Wenham looked up, hastily swallowed the food in his mouth when he saw who had spoken. Damn good thing he'd talked to Bean and Harry, because it looked like his lunch had just gotten a lot more interesting. "Always happy to help a mate," he said, gesturing to the empty seats at the table. He waited until Karl and Orlando were seated, noticed how close they'd pushed their chairs, wondered if that had been on purpose. "What'd you need?" "Answers," Orlando replied, shoving his sunglasses to the top of his head. Okay, that narrowed it down. "To last night?" "Last night?" Dave grinned, wondered just how much they remembered. "Had a great time last night. We'll have to do it again soon." "Did anything, um, odd happen?" Dave glanced at Karl as he picked up his fork once more. "Odd?" "Yeah, odd." Karl shrugged, looked away. Was he blushing? Damned if he wasn't. File that away for later. "Like something that would, you know, cause two blokes to, um, end up in bedtogethernaked." "Oh, that," Dave said as if it happened all the time. "Can't say I remember anything like that. Two of you were cute together, though." "Cute?" Orlando's yelp caused heads to turn throughout the cafe. "What the hell do you mean 'cute'?" Dave tried not to laugh. "The two of you were all over each other. It was precious." "We...were?" Karl looked a trifle pale, and Orlando's eyes were so wide they were almost round. "Oh yeah." Dave nodded and sipped his tea, blue eyes twinkling over the rim of his glass. "Leaning on each other, holding each other, whispering at the table, helping each other walk to the car. Don't think I've ever seen the two of you that drunk before." "Oh." Orlando's voice was subdued and his eyes skittered away from Karl. Neither man looked relieved, and Dave counted the minutes until they left. As soon as they were out of sight, he pulled out his cellphone. Time to call Viggo. And so it went. Subsequent visits to Elijah, Dom, Billy, Liv, and Ian had provided no answers. Each person dropped vague hints, but emphatically denied any knowledge of events after leaving the pub. Karl and Orlando spent the rest of the day hunting down people and asking questions. By the time they returned to Orlando's rental house well after dark, both men were beyond frustrated. The only definite answer they'd gotten from anyone was that Viggo had driven them home. And Viggo had been oddly elusive all day. It was a constant case of 'you just missed him' no matter where they went. "You reckon he knows something?" Karl asked, following Orlando into the house. "Who, Viggo?" One shoulder lifted in a faint shrug. "Yeah, probably. Wanker." Karl chuckled and dropped on the sofa to sprawl beside Orlando, their thighs pressing together, shoulders just barely touching. Long minutes passed as they sat in a comfortable silence. Then Karl propped his feet on the coffee table, leaned back, and glanced at Orlando. "Be kinda nice to remember those missing hours." "Yeah." Orlando bobbed his head in a manner similar to adolescent boys all over the world. "Wonder how we ended up in bed together, naked." "Reckon we passed out, and then Vig decided to pull another of those practical jokes of his?" "You mean stripping us down and just dumping us in bed?" Orlando looked startled. Guess he hadn't thought of that possibility. "Yeah." "Could be." Another minute or two passed in silence, the two of them shifting on the sofa, touching and then moving away as if burned...only to drift back together seconds later. Karl only noticed it when Orlando's hand brushed his thigh and then jerked back. Well, now...that was interesting. "So do you think anything, you know, happened?" "Probably not. I mean...we'd know, right?" "Dunno." Karl laced his hands behind his head. "Think so?" Elegant brows - for a man - lifted over eyes the color of the finest, darkest Belgian chocolate, and Karl wondered why he'd never noticed how dark Orlando's eyes were before. Then curved lips smirked, and Orlando said, "Like to think I'm not such a lousy lay that my partner can forget me, no matter how drunk he is." "Yeah." And they lapsed into silence again. Karl's fingers pulled absently at his lower lip; Orlando's fingers drummed a staccato rhythm along his thigh. Finally, Orlando shifted and looked directly at Karl, eyes drawn to Karl's fingers pulling at his lip. "So you wanna?" "Wanna what?" Karl gave Orlando a curious look. "You know." One hand lifted, made a vague gesture. "Shag." Karl blinked. That was all he could do. No way in hell he'd heard that right. It sounded like Orlando had just asked.... "You want to shag me?" "Unless you'd like to shag me." Orlando was positively beaming, and Karl decided this was the oddest discussion he'd ever been involved in to date. He then decided it should be illegal for Orlando - and Orlando's mouth when it smiled like that - to ask questions like 'You want to shag me?'. "You...." "Sure, if you want. I don't mind." Orlando shrugged again. "Always thought you were a good looking bloke." He had? He did? That was news to Karl. Not unpleasant news, but news nevertheless. Of course, Karl had to admit that he'd thought Orlando was beyond gorgeous the first time he'd laid eyes on him. Still did. Never thought anything would ever come of it, though. And now it seemed like.... "So do you want to?" Karl snapped out of his daze and stared at Orlando. "Christ, Orli...that's bloody romantic." "You going all twee on me?" "Not likely," Karl said, laughing as Orlando waggled his eyebrows and leered. "Then why d'you want romantic?" Orlando continued to grin as he shifted, swung one leg over to straddle Karl's lap. Hello, wasn't expecting that. "Rather just have hot, nasty, monkey sex m'self." "That so?" Orlando nodded and began to unbutton Karl's shirt. "Tell you what...I'll kiss you, and if you don't like it we'll stop." Before Karl could respond, Orlando kissed him. And it was nice. Okay, so it was better than nice. It was one of those toe-curling, nerve-sizzling, instant hard-on kisses. In fact, it ranked right up there as one of the five best kisses Karl had ever had. Soft, yet firm, lips moved over his, and a slick tongue sought entrance, gained it, and proceeded to explore Karl's mouth with a voracity that stole Karl's breath. It was everything a kiss should be and more. Much more. And Karl found himself becoming quickly aroused by the warm, wriggling bundle in his lap. And by the hands exploring his bare chest. And by the mouth sucking on his tongue. And by the lips that kept kissing him over and over, barely breaking away long enough for them to both suck in a deep breath. Orlando's face was flushed, his breathing ragged, when he finally pulled back, and the way his tongue swept over his lips had Karl aching in his jeans. The wink Orlando gave him from one heavy lidded eye had all of Karl's blood speeding straight to his crotch. "So...." The word was barely above a whisper. "You wanna?" "Yeah." No other words were needed. Orlando slid from Karl's lap, yanked him to his feet. They stumbled towards the bedroom, mouths fused, hands tearing at clothes and leaving a trail of discarded garments in their wake. "Fuck...you're a good kisser," Orlando gasped as Karl kicked the door shut and shoved him against it. "So're you," Karl replied. He snatched a bottle of lube from the dresser, squeezed out a generous dollop into his palm before tossing the bottle aside. "Sure you want this?" "Yeah." "Good." Karl slicked himself up, slicked Orlando up, groaned at the tight muscles that clamped down on his fingers. Then he grabbed one of Orlando's legs, hooked it over his hip, and thrust. And fuck if it wasn't one of the most sublime things he'd ever experienced...heat and tightness, like Orlando's body had been custom-made for Karl's cock. And when Orlando tightened his muscles like...that. Oh. Yes. Just like that. Fuck. Orlando's grunt at the sudden invasion turned into a groan as Karl began to move inside him. His hands tangled with Karl's hair, pulled him down for a bruising kiss. Tongues dueled, hips rocked, hands raced over bare skin. Karl's hand closed around Orlando's cock, squeezing, tugging, stroking. "Hot...unh, yeah...like that...monkey sex...Christ...huh?" Karl gasped, teeth nipping at Orlando's lower lip before moving on to explore the soft skin just beneath his jaw. "God, harder...hot, nasty...ohh...monkey...mm, that...fuck, yeah...sex," Orlando replied, his last word ending on a moan, his fingers gripping Karl's shoulders, nail leaving tiny crescent marks as they dug in to firm flesh. Karl knew neither of them would last long at the pace he'd set. Minutes later, Orlando proved him right, screaming his release into Karl's mouth as he spilled his seed over Karl's fingers. A handful of thrusts later, Karl joined him, shuddering, sinking his teeth into Orlando's shoulder as he pumped into him one last time. They leaned against each other and the door, trembling and gasping for air. When Karl thought he could walk without falling over, he staggered to the bed, pulling Orlando with him. Sweaty limbs tangled together as they collapsed on the sheets. "So why'd we do that again?" "To make sure we didn't forget anything from last night," Orlando mumbled against Karl's shoulder. "And did we?" "Nope." "Good." Karl rolled over, pinned Orlando to the mattress. "Wanna do it again?" "Yeah." Orlando grinned as he lifted his head for a quick kiss. "Can I fuck you this time?" "Yeah."
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